Cooking Totally Intimidated Me Until

I've always been a wee (so, really...a LOT) intimidated by cooking.

At first, when Josh and I got married, it was the same thing all.the.time. And, it sure wasn't grandiose, either. My menu looked something like this:

Monday-Hot Dogs with Canned Chili
Tuesday-Chicken Breasts (dry but edible) with boxed Mashed Potatoes and canned Green Beans
Wednesday-Tacos and Burritos (using the taco season packets of course)
Thursday-Whataburger
Friday-Spaghetti (canned sauce) with packaged salad and bread if we were being fancy
Saturday-Eggs and eat out the rest of the day
Sunday-Eat out all day

This didn't change much. We had other easily thrown together meals like baked in the microwave potatoes with chili, taco salad, and turkey ham with potatoes. I thought I was big stuff when I learned to stir-fry chicken and veggies!

Then one day Josh complained. Oh, I'm not talking a big complaint...just a mention that we eat the same thing all the time. I was as tired of it as he was, but it still hurt my feelings. And...I got a little intimidated. I stared at the list, the same one. What was I supposed to do? I knew he didn't want that, but what else did I know how to cook? Nothing.

We ate fast food a lot after that. We tried making it as healthy as we could...ya know, Panera Bread, Jason's Deli, and the like. But, we still ate Whataburger more than I'd like to admit and it was getting expensive. We were looking to buy a house in the near future and cooking would have to become a priority. I truly didn't know what to do. My next door neighbor and best friend taught me one meal and Josh's mom gave me another recipe that became a quick favorite...but it wasn't enough.

What was I going to do?

Then, I stumbled on this cookbook while browsing Barnes and Nobles shelves:

How to Boil Water, life beyond takeout

 

I laughed out loud right in the middle of the bookstore and then quickly hid the title against my chest to go find a seat and browse. As you can see, I bought it!

 

And, as you can see, I USED it! I used it so much that it began falling apart. It was fabulous. I had to put my favorite ones in sheet protectors!

 

It seriously had stuff *I* already knew:

and a lot I didn't.

 

I read the entire book--actually read it, and learned.

 

Now, don't get me wrong. Our menus didn't change over night. Here's what they looked like shortly after reading this book.

 

First week or two:

 

Monday-Hot Dogs with Canned Chili
Tuesday-Chicken Breasts (dry but edible) with boxed Mashed Potatoes and canned Green Beans
Wednesday-Tacos and Burritos (using the taco season packets of course)
Thursday-Whataburger
Friday-Spaghetti from the book
Saturday-Eggs and eat out the rest of the day
Sunday-Eat out all day

A month later:

Monday-Hot Dogs with Canned Chili
Tuesday-Chicken Breasts (yum! I figured it out) with boxed Mashed Potatoes and canned Green Beans
Wednesday-Tacos and Burritos (using the taco season packets of course)
Thursday-Whataburger
Friday-Spaghetti from the book with "real" salad and bread if we were being fancy
Saturday-Eggs and eat out the rest of the day
Sunday-Eat out all day

A few months later:

Monday-Eat Out
Tuesday-Chicken Breasts with boxed Real Mashed Potatoes and canned Green Beans
Wednesday-Tacos and Burritos (using a recipe from the book)
Thursday-Whataburger
Friday-Spaghetti from the book with "real" salad and bread if we were being fancy
Saturday-Pancakes (big hit for the kids!) and eat out the rest of the day
Sunday-Eat out all day

A Year later:

Monday-King Ranch Chicken that Josh's mom taught me
Tuesday-Chicken Stir Fry
Wednesday-Tacos Picadillo from the book
Thurday-Salmon from the book with rice and peas
Friday-Date with Josh
Saturday-Egg Burritos and eat out the rest of the day
Sunday-Eat out all day

I wasn't a quick study, but there was progress! Josh noticed, and the next Christmas I got The Pioneer Woman Cooks. It was chock full of pictures and simple, doable recipes...and my cooking took another leap. Now, we're eating at home every breakfast but Sunday, lunch every weekday and most Saturdays, and I'm cooking dinner 4-5 nights a week!! I never thought I'd get there--seriously.


Linking Up at these fabulous blogs:

3 Daily Chores

One of the biggest Ah-ha moments in my home-making career was when I first realized that everything I had to do daily to keep my home looking nice was dishes, laundry, and tidying up.

 

Oh, I was a master at breaking those down into like a bazillion little chores: make bed, fluff pillows, pick up clothes, tidy bathroom counter, wash sink, straighten bedroom, empty dishwasher, re-load dishwasher, throw trash away, put away kitchen clutter, wash countertops, hand wash pots and pans, shine sink....etc., etc., etc.

 At one time I had a chore list three PAGES long!! Hello?!

I felt overwhelmed and defeated All The Time! "I can't do all this," I would complain to God. "Please help me find a better way." I knew I was a mess, I knew I wasn't good at being a home-maker, and I knew I couldn't figure this all out on my own.

I would read blog after blog searching for the perfect chore list. It can't possibly be that simple, I would think. There are hundreds of jobs! How can they only write down a short little list and have a home that looks that nice? I didn't believe it.

Then one day, after praying for years, the thought just sorta settled in my brain; if I would just do dishes, laundry, and pick up stuff laying around...I could live with my house.

See, I was looking for the PERFECT solution, the magic pill, or the list that would get up and do it for me. It was all or nothing for me...a very dangerous way to think...and I would either have every little perfect chore, down to cleaning the baseboards on the list, or a cleaning list wouldn't work for me. I was wrong.

What I really needed, was a list I could easily memorize.
Dishes
Laundry
Tidy Up

Oh, I know there's more to it than that. I know there's more than one step in doing laundry or dishes and more than one room that needs tidying, but I could remember that. I knew there were weekly chores as well, but that wasn't my main problem. I would get sick of something stinking, like the trash or toilet, and just do it, but the mess was "harmless" and could wait.

I began, with my children, just working on those three every day. Some days I would just unload and re-load the dishes and forget about the rest of the kitchen. Sometimes I would clean every counter top and sweep, too. But, I would get in there and just work on the kitchen mess...and I started with dishes. That's all I had to remember: dishes. Then, it was up to me how far I went with it that day. For laundry, I would just make sure there was a load washed and dried every day, even if I piled the clothes somewhere to be folded later...at least they were all clean. Then, I set a timer in all of my main rooms for about 10 minutes and just picked up stuff: 10 minutes in the living room, 10 minutes in the kitchen, 10 minutes in the den, 10 minutes in the dining room, and 10 minutes in the kitchen if it wasn't finished already. If I just couldn't do that long on a given day, I picked up 10 items in each room instead, and the kids helped. Pretty soon it wasn't taking an entire 10 minutes for each room. When it became easier, I added other rooms.

I know this sounds over simplistic...and it IS, but that's what I needed to begin.

Linking Up at these fabulous blogs:

A Slob Comes Clean

Chaos to Calm in the Kitchen





 

Isn't it true that when things get behind in the kitchen, it takes on a life all it's own and can take some serious time and focus to put it all back in order? All the worse if your kitchen is gi-normous like mine!

 

Not that terribly bad, right?

 

Oh wait, there's another side,

...and the breakfast room had plenty of room for all the Christmas decor we pulled out, right?

And never mind that the chairs were used as coat racks, cereal containers are everywhere, and nothing got put back after morning coffee. The ornaments on the floor add a festive touch, too.

Don't be fooled! Once we eat breakfast and pull in the stow away dishes that are hiding in the game room...this will turn into two full dishwasher loads, several hand-wash only pots, and some serious sweat equity to get everything back to NORMAL.

But...over the years I've learned to catch up in the kitchen in a methodical way that shows fast results and keeps me motivated to keep going toward that finish line. Oh, I know I sound dramatic, but you've never had to clean my kitchen. And, y'all don't let your kitchens EVER get this bad, right??

So, here goes. Are your kids fed and juiced? Have you had your caffeine intake for the day? Music or audio bible playing? Cartoons on in the kids Safe Haven? Okay, then we're ready!

How I go from Chaos To Calm in my Kitchen:

Unload the dishwasher.
My children unload the dishwasher for me nine times out of ten, but with the kitchen so behind I can do it a lot faster and without worrying over little things on the floor they could slip on. (Make sure if your children unload your dishwasher that you at least put away the knives and any irreplaceable glass first).

Now, obviously the next thing is to reload my dishwasher, but I look around first. What will make the biggest impact in my kitchen right now? Is it all the kid's plastic ware and drinking glasses? (It usually is, but not this time). This time it's the enormous amount of cooking and baking dishes from Thanksgiving. So, I load anything that's not hand-wash only as my first load. Now, you may turn your dishwasher on right away, but in my older home if the hot water's being used for the dishwasher, I won't have any for the sink. So, I put the soap in and wait to turn it on for when I'm finished with the hot water.

The next thing I do is really clean out and scrub my sink. My children usually do a lot of the lighter dish work and I don't want to worry about all the germs that collect here. It doesn't take long for food ickies in the sink to multiply. A pretty sink also does a lot to motivate me. It's ready to be used and I don't have to worry over the ickies anymore.

The next thing I do is completely clear and clean off the counter to the left of my sink. Now I have a great place to neatly stack the rest of my dirty dishes so they're out of my way. (This was an in-process picture, but it showed where I'm talking about).

Next, I send the kids on a dish hunt all over the house while I gather and neatly stack all of our dirty dishes.

I stack all of my pans and big dishes neatly, throw all my utensils in a big bowl, and stack cups and glasses together. This condenses all the dirty dishes that are waiting for the next load to one place, freeing the rest of the counter space for quick cleaning up. This is also a great time to soak any hard-to-wash dishes if you have any.

Next, I put away my cooking supplies that don't need washing and throw any trash away. These first few steps take care of all the clutter in 90% of my kitchen counter-tops. All that's left on the counters is what belongs and the neat stack waiting for the next re-load.

Now, I work my way around the kitchen, wiping down all of the cleared off counter spaces. Finishing this step brings kitchen stress to a minimum for me and I can finish the rest without worrying about someone stopping by.

After I'm finished here, and usually make sure there's no wet spots on the floor, the kitchen is back to a safe place for the kids to work. I take a break to nurse and put the baby down for a nap and when the dishwasher is finished, I ask Abby to go open it to cool down.


After the dishes cool a bit, it's Abby and Abram's turn to un/re load the dishwasher. They are pros at this, but if your children are too young or new to this, you would want to be in there with them. My children know to leave the knives alone (Abby's 10 and has a few she's comfortable with, but she only handles them standing still. Do you see the knife block to the right of the stove? If she stands on the other side, she can put them away without taking a step.) They load as many as will fit and leave the hand-wash dishes for me.

Bubzy likes carrying around a few cooking utensils. He thinks he's big stuff for helping, too.

After that's finished, I tackle the Christmas boxes. I just want them out of the way and tidy until Josh gets home to put them back up in the garage.

The kids had a few belongings in here, so I stacked them all together and had them make a run to the back of the house to put them away.

Ah...finished. The lighting was a little off, but you get the idea.

 

It's not perfect, but it's back to normal--Chaos to Calm. It took me about an hour in actual work time, a little longer if you count the dishwasher running time (but I don't, because I can do something else during that time). I love a clean kitchen and it's worth my time to jump right in and get it done.

Emotional Breakdowns and Prayer

Sometimes I can just tell an emotional breakdown is around the next bin. I think women need these, but noticing the signs they are coming can really diminish their impact.

Your warning signals may be different from mine, but be aware that when you start seeing them, you need to seek out some by-yourself-time to relax, cry if needed, and pray.

Here are some of the warnings I get:

The kids are entertaining themselves on my furniture.

The trash truck will be here any minute and the bags still aren't out by the street!

Whataburger bags and paper plates are crowding the table next to where I sit.

Christmas decor has exploded in my kitchen before Thanksgiving dishes are done and put away!



The kids are digging their breakfast bowls out of the dishwasher instead of the cabinets, and eating breakfast at the dining table because the breakfast table is overrun.

When I tell the kids to go make their bed, I find out the sheets are no longer even on there. 

I don't actually remember if that basket is clothes I took out of the dryer or dirty clothes I sat in there to be washed next.

The school cabinet is in disarray and won't quite close all the way.

The kids have been entertaining themselves by decorating more than the tree.

 

Time for an emotional breakdown. Time for deeper than normal prayer and maybe some tears.

 

 

I know reading and seeing pictures of the real way a person lives can be pretty funny, but the truth is these kind of days can also be painful. When you try and try to keep up and just can't, when you know that reading to the kids is so much more important but you can't seem to find the time (or the book, for that matter), and when you're taking fast food home for more than one night in a row--you know it's time to get back on track! These times come for different reasons and for different lengths of time, too.

 

For me, these pictures were taken after a series of stresses came in my life all at once. We had thanksgiving dinner with family (YUM--but oh the dishes), then sewage backed up in my bathtub and we had to get that taken care of whilst showering in the other bathroom (with the stuff that drags from one room to another), my best friend had her new little boy and I decided to cook for her before I had finished off cleaning the kitchen, and we found out that we weren't going to be getting the house we'd been building for the last 5 months. And all of that happened in a span of a week and a half!

 

Other Times When Life May Mess With Your Routine:

(long or short term)

• One of your children gets sick
• You get sick or bedridden
• A new baby in the family
• Your children need some heavily concentrated time on discipline or training
• Family comes in town
• Holiday fun takes on a mind all it's own
• You're packing for a move
• Your air conditioner or heater breaks at peak times
• A major event, project, or assignment is underway
• You run out of coffee--Just kidding!
• That other thing I forgot to mention

 

Well, life is settling again, but the aftermath is still all over my home. So, I'm taking this opportunity to show you how I catch up from times like this and get my days back on track.

 

Scheduling Emotional Breakdowns and Deeper Prayer:

 

I know that it sounds weird to "schedule" emotional breakdowns, so let me explain. I don't mean get out your calendar and pencil in an emotional breakdown. What I do mean is when you start seeing the signs of an approaching adult tantrum, to get things lined up for a low impact.

 

First of all, prepare the kids:

When I feel like a ticking time-bomb, I warn my children. I say something along these lines,

 

"I'm sure y'all can tell I'm not in the best of moods. So, this is how today is going to play out. (I give them a list of chores they have to complete--smaller than normal. I give them a short stack of low-need school assignments (that post to come).) Now, this has nothing to do with you kids, I'm just having a bad day, but you're liable to wake up the Moody Monster if you ask me a dozen questions. So, here's the answers ahead of time. Can you have a piece of candy--yes but only after you eat lunch and two pieces. Can you watch your show--yes but only after you finish chores and school. Can you play outside--after lunch. Any other questions? Do you understand what to do?"

 

The baby stays with me except when he's hangin' with his 10year old sissy when she wants to "baby-sit". These periods last for about 5-10 minutes, but are the perfect opportunity to hole up in my room and cry a bit and pray.

 

Next, spill your guts to someone who really cares--God:

I pray nearly everyday, but not as deeply as I do when I'm hurting. This isn't structured, pleasant, calculated prayer. It's raw and unfiltered and emotional. God already knows--even more than you know--the deepest, darkest thoughts of your soul. So, this is the time I have "scheduled" to spill.

 

So, what do I spill?

I confess--how I feel about myself, about others, about my life, about whatever. And as I go, I ask God to change my heart in relation to those things. Sometimes, I even ask God to help me see a person with new eyes because all I could see irritated me.

 

So, what then?

Well, I let myself cry as much as I need and then when I feel better I'm ready to move on. I pray a more basic prayer. "God, my life has fallen apart around my feet yet again. Please help me know what to do to get back on track. What should I do first? What should I have the kids do while I'm working on that?" And I sit there listening for an answer. Usually I already know the answer and I've just been putting it off.

 

Usually, I go straight to the kids after this and tell them I'm sorry for my bad attitude. Then I get on whatever I know I should do.

 

So...what if you just can't get alone? What if you're constantly being interrupted?

 

1. First, eliminate the unimportant interruptions. Turn down your cell-phone. I sometimes have to lock my doors and determine not to answer them.
2. Sometimes you have to put off your time for a little bit--but don't let it be long. Make sure everyone is fed and has an activity to work on, even if it's a t.v. show you trust.
3. When I seriously can't find a moment, I usually prepare my husband by texting him (voices have more emotion). He sometimes takes charge of the kids while I soak in the bubble bath or go to Starbucks (those times I journal instead of cry out loud), or sometimes just sit in the car and cry.
4. Even a blanket over your head can provide a desperate moment of privacy.

I know it's hard sometimes to find a moment away, but it's also important. Whether it be out with a close friend, in a bubble bath, or under a blanket with your bible, find ways to be alone with God when things gets harried. You'll thank yourself for prioritizing this time away. And...so will the closest people in your life. Fifteen minutes alone in tears can wash away a week of bad moods. Consider it a gift to them and make that time a priority.

 

This is part of my When The Mess Paralyzes series, found here.

 



Create A Safe Haven When Yours Is Falling Apart

I hate times like this! Everything's going fine and dandy when--WHAM--outta nowhere three of four things happen at once and they throw your home into disarray. In the past week and a half we've had Thanksgiving, sewage backed up in our bathroom tub, my best friend had her new precious baby, and we found out the house we've designed and planned to buy is not going to work out. Ups, downs, Ups, downs...sigh!

Didn't it turn out beautifu?l!! Too bad it won't be ours.


At times like this life has a way of taking on a temper all it's own. It throws curve balls straight at my head and makes sure that every mess imaginable is made all in the same week.

I know I'm exaggerating a bit, but that is how it feels. And at times like this, I have to force myself back to daily life and clean up all the many messes that've gone unchecked for days as I've wallowed in a haze of holidays and disappointment and who-cares and lots and lots of cooking.

So, when life throws curve balls and you're ready to move on, where do you start?

Creating A Safe Haven:

I start with creating a safe haven for the kiddoes to play while I get my patooty into high gear cleaning up the mess I've allowed to develop. Ya know...a place that my children can roll around on the floor, watch some Netflix, do a little school, and still feel, and even more importantly be, safe...while I spend a few hours cleaning up the house again.

I know none of you EVER let your house get over run with messes. But, just in case you do I put together some ideas.

What Makes a Haven Safe?

I think that depends on the age of the children, and each parent has to determine that for themselves. For a 15 year old it may just be a cleaned off table where they can focus on their school work, but for a toddler it might require picking up every small thing they might find, vacuuming the floor, making sure there's an older sibling around to keep an eye out, etc. I'll show you what I do for my 10, 7, and 14 month old.

First, I pick the nearest room to where I'll be working that's comfortable, easiest to clean up, and already has some entertainment for the kids. This makes it so much easier to prepare.

Next I gather a few things to help the clean-up process go faster:

No, the baby doesn't make it go faster...but it does entertain him while we work. I need two laundry baskets and a trash bag. This allows me to pick up all the dirty clothes/towels, trash, and gather everything in the room that doesn't belong in there without having to make a bazillion trips to other rooms.

The living room, for instance, doesn't have a trash can or a laundry basket that belongs in there. So, if I didn't have these I'd be taking multiple trips to the kitchen trash can, a few to the bathroom laundry basket, and dozens of trips to other rooms to put stow-aways back in their proper places. This way, I make only three trips after I'm all cleaned up. One to put the trash out, one to put the laundry basket up, and one to hand the basket to the kids and let them run a bazillion places to put all their escapees away.

 It always gets super messy right by where I sit when I'm resting, writing, and snuggling with the kids--or staring at the t.v. trying to forget that the move is not going as planned.

And the floor gets to looking like this in one, maybe two days.

Then, because I have a toddler, I'm really careful to look around for small objects and/or vacuum the main areas that he'll be playing in and around.

 Do you see that big 'ol smile on his face? Bubzy is absolutely in love with our vacuum. He dances around until I let him surf on it.

 

So, this is our living room and dining room all set up for Safe Haven.

 

 

Now, when Abby is watching her little brothers while I go on a mission of massive house catch up, I have no worries. I just stay close and check in often, while I know they're in Safe Haven.

   

This was the beginning of the series, "When The Mess Paralyzes". If you would like to read the rest, you can find them here.

    Linking Up With:     A Bowl Full of Lemons